Losing yourself

In a relationship a partner may find themselves dealing with a struggle they are unaware of; loving them we take it upon ourselves to make their problem ours. Unfortunately, in the midst of trying to help someone else we often lose ourselves. How then does a person both commit to fully to oneself and another equally?

It's as if the question is a  topic for great philosophical discussion. There is no simple way to rationalize equality.The truth is when someone's hurting you feel selfish focusing on yourself and if you focus on them to much they seem to become selfish. The hardest may be the person who focuses solely on you. As you endeavor to find an answer to their problem they start to find problems you have and try to fix them. Which almost always leads to an argument because neither of you wants to discuss the underlying issue. 

What is it that makes us so afraid to talk about our feelings? The talk of the town is that television and video games are at fault for the spike in violence amongst adolescents, that television has changed so greatly and has such an influence on the youth of a generation; is it then television's fault that there is a generation of twenty somethings running around afraid of feelings. 

Seriously, look around you at how many people in relationships say they aren't in relationships. These tactfully made monogamous relationships where there is no title, but all the workings of a relationship. Then they just call it quits to try something with someone new and when that doesn't work out they run back to one another. (IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE LIKE THIS YOU ARE LUCKY) It seems like everybody is afraid to make an emotional attachment, as if it were the apocalypse.

DENIAL! 

These are people who look in the mirror and want to conquer the world. They put 110% into everything they do, except being emotionally invested. I'm not an investment guru, but love is like the stock market and if you don't invest you never see a return. 

Honestly, women who sit their and talk about getting married and having kids, but will allow themselves to be used by a man on his accordance just go fly a kite in traffic. Mr. Right isn't the guy who's calling you to come over at midnight after you've hung separately all night, ALL THE TIME; and if you think he could be different than change your situation. He doesn't want to try to change it (even if it fails once or twice) then tell him to hit the road, because trust the sex will be better somewhere else. 

This is part of the reason that people aren't getting emotionally invested when the right person does come along. They have either A) burned themselves out spilling their emotions up and down the wrong road or B) have become so accustomed to going with the flow they don't know how to invest. Either way it's a problem!