Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The feeling of being unaccomplished

Remember when you were a child and you thought of all the things you could be when you grew up? What happened to the feeling of opportunity and the ability to accomplish goals you set for yourself? 

It is sometimes said that you don't accomplish what you want in life because you don't try hard enough, but is that in fact really true? I'm finding more and more that the people who are accomplishing these great goals they have had for themselves are people who are still living with their parents or know someone who can get them ahead. Whatever happened to the necessity for raw talent? When did people stop looking at applications and saying "this could be a perfect fit" and start saying "well this is so and so's child and we can teach them what they need to know"?

People talk of political parties only looking out for the better of those within their circle, but the reality is the entire American economic system has fallen into that realm of thinking. Society has become a place where people want to see people they know succeed. That's not to say that they don't want to see those they don't know succeed but, rather play the out of sight of mind game. 

I enjoy writing. I also enjoy researching. I could think of a million topics to research and write papers on, but guess what I'm not a college professor and no one is going to pay me to just sit around and write. I went to school where the newspaper was controlled by a committee that was basically like a sorority/ fraternity combined. FACT!  IF YOU WANTED TO WRITE FOR THE SCHOOL PAPER YOU HAD TO ENDURE THE HAZING IT TOOK JUST TO GET ON TO THE COMMITTEE! Not to mention it consisted of all the rich kids; because obviously if you came from a wealthy family it meant you were more apt to produce great stories and have better writing. 

Something in me has snapped today and I'm not sure why, but I'm looking around me and seeing that this country and the institutions of learning (especially higher learning) are not what they were when I was child. Though I am unmarried and without children looking at society the way it is and what it's evolving into worries me and makes me question whether I would want a family in it.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas 2011

As the 25th of December quickly approaches I find myself not in the holiday spirit this year. The concept of buying presents is more depressing than exciting; and planning my travel pattern is nothing more than a headache. I don't know when I became so unchristmasy (yes I made up a word to express my sentiment) but there is something about this year that just isn't doing it for me. I just feel like the real meaning of Christmas is lost. Everyone is so worried about what to buy, who is gonna spend more money than another and it's all so exhausting. Who cares what you get, shouldn't it be about spending time with family, getting to see people you haven't seen in months or years; and if you're spending it with people you see on a regular basis they probably spend a significant amount of time and money on you already. Even kids these days think Christmas is about asking for expensive presents they wouldn't other wise get, and parents spend money they don't have on getting them it; with the hope that they will give their children an amazing Christmas. 

It's not that I'm a s Scrooge and I'm saying bah humbug to Christmas, but can we seriously stop worrying about how much someone spends and just be happy they're still alive and here to give us a hug. Be grateful that we can still hear their voice and bust their balls, because in a year you probably won't remember what they bought you, but you'll remember what they looked like and what they said to you.

Monday, December 19, 2011

When It All Falls Apart

Sometimes everything needs to fall apart in order for a person to know who will really be there to pick them up. 

There are unfortunate moments in life that will test a persons strength, faith, and ability to keep their mental capacity from tearing into two. In these moments a person will turn to those that they care about, in hopes that they will find a safe place to call home. Sometimes they find that where they thought they could turn actually turns out to be a dead end and other times they find home was in the one place they never thought to look; and in rare, beautiful instances, home is exactly where it should be and they are embraced with open arms. 

There are many things to be grateful for, but unfortunately the thought of being thankful only comes but once a year. So this a moment to say thank you: thank you for the people you never expected to stand by your side, thank you for the memories you have been able to make and the ability to make more, thank you for the sun rising every morning, thank you for the change of seasons, thank you for the ability to love and be loved.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Just Do It

Sometimes in a relationship people just need you to be there. Don't wait for them to ask and don't ask them if they want you there. Just show up at their door and say hello. It is just an easy way to bring a smile to their face and ease to their heart. 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Going the Distance

Sometimes it is easier to give up everything you want in hopes that you will want everything you have.

Falling In Love

So the wise man says "only fools rush in" and scientists attribute it to a release of some chemical in a woman's brain when she orgasms, but then how did all those people get married and start families and be in love before casual sex became a factor? Also, to state it perfectly clear most women are probably afraid to admit that they have been able to have perfectly casual sex and not get emotionally attached because of negative stigmas. Therefore, what makes us fall in love?

It is the ability to see in the other person what they cannot see in them self. In many situations there are times when one person is completely open and willing to take in everything another has to offer and the other person is not. Thus, the problem arises where relationships feel as though they are going nowhere and there is a vicious cycle of negative emotions arising. The next issue being; how to do deal with those emotions. 

How do you deal with loving someone who isn't ready to love you? The answer is: there is no answer. Everyone deals with emotions differently; some cry, some fight, some run away, and the list could go on for hundreds of pages; but the one question everyone asks them self is why didn't they love me back?! 

It is innate human nature to try to rationalize every situation (a problem other mammals don't face). Most of the time rationalizing a relationship is adjoined with loathing; either for oneself or the other person involved. 

Self - loathing is the worst form of rationalizing a non-responsive partner. Often, because it is a quality possessed by those who have not been selfish in any way. Thus, it isn't until the one who has eaten away at them self finally begins to express a sense of disdain for their partner does the selfish one in the relationship see the err of their ways (often too late). 

Monday, November 28, 2011

What is JOY?!?

How do you explain Joy? By definition it is a state of happiness, but happiness is neither measurable nor standard. Thus, it makes it easy to understand what makes one happy may not make another happy. However, how does one determine for themselves what brings them true joy. And is it possible that joy can be falsified unknowingly?

It is probable that in these times people are blinded by a need to know the future without fully accepting the present. How then is society to separate what it wants from what it has; and find happiness in what is and not in what could be? 

Saturday, November 26, 2011


"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says,".....that's her." 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

To be or not to be? *Shakespeare

How do you explain to someone you're unhappy?

It's the general consensus that no one wants to feel as though they make their partner unhappy, however there comes a time when people need to realize that one unhappy situation does not need to result in the dissolution of an entire relationship. But, not recognizing the extent of the situation and the emotional toll it takes on your partner can. And why is it that the unhappy partner almost feels wrong for having their feelings hurt?

There is much to be said of communication in a relationship, but it's not always easy to communicate when emotions on a specific topic run high. If you feel that you are completely and totally in love with someone then you should be able to compromise and find a stable ground to walk forward with them on. The situation does not always have to lead to "maybe" and "if, then"; relationships are about bettering yourself with the help of another, not leaving them outside looking in, that's a booty call!

If you've really found someone you can't live without, then don't! Have them by your side even when you're in a place you don't want to be; otherwise, don't be surprised when they start questioning your intentions or whether you truly love them. Because when they walk away you'll only have yourself to blame.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The baby BOOM!

When did mid 20's become a time of feeling old? Leaving a feeling of do or die, women are starting to pose the baby question younger and younger.

A decade ago this was supposed to be a time of bettering yourself and securing a job. Now, people don't have steady jobs and are bringing kids into this world. It seems like every notification on facebook, twitter, myspace, and every other social networking site is of babies. 

Is it wrong to feel that at 24 it's too soon to want a baby? Is it wrong to want to be married before having kids? Is it wrong to look at someone who is 19 or 20 and having a baby and think they're too young but have a bit of jealousy?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Twilight Saga Part 1

What an amazing beginning of the end for the twilight saga!

As usual Edward is melodramatic, Jacob an angry over achiever, and Bella hard headed and confused. What makes this movie most exciting is how these character aspects finally bring meaning to the plot of the movie. Also, there are new developments in characters that once seemed more as though they were just fill ins and not a real necessity to the story line. Rosalie becomes a true character of the movie, losing that cold hearted (no pun intended) side she finally seems like a real member of the Cullen clan (perfect example of why you should never judge a book by its cover). 

The wolves also play a larger role in this part of the saga. Without giving anything away it must be said that they are the greatest antagonist the series has brought to light thus far. However, with much unexplained with the ways of the wolves the stories ending leaves you feeling unsettled. The whole imprinting thing that they do is left very vague and an explanation of its meaning is far more necessary for the story line than the explanation of knowing how it happens and what a wolf feels when he imprints. 

This movie's apparent purpose is to pull the viewer into the realm of vampirism completely; finally drawing away from the concepts of struggles with love and heartache and what could be perceived as teeny bopper drama, it becomes about a struggle with defining who one is and the importance of their roles in the lives of other characters.

Breaking Dawn has proven itself to be a strong beginning to what should be a great conclusion; making the twilight saga a series to be watched by generations to come.

If you haven't seen the movie yet make sure to stay through the credits the Volturi, as always, make an appearance.

Understanding One Another

Sometimes in relationships people forget that not everything is as it seems.

It's easy to put a negative perspective on comments and decisions made when everyone in your life has always made pessimism the norm. However, there comes a point in a relationship when you have to step back and realize that it's a two way street for a reason. You can't expect your partner to rely on you for everything and not rely on them; you can't expect them to be an open book while you're sitting around being a closed one.

The real question is how do you get your partner to open up to you. It's not like you can say "baby I'm here for you" and expect them to say to them self "oh ok I can completely trust you". 

Everyone has issues, that's a given, but how do you overcome them?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Overly Comfortable

At what point does a person realize that they aren't enough? Too often are the relationships of 20 somethings  in this day and age unhealthy. Is it that the perception of the 90's idea of divorce and separation directly effected the children of the time to have an innate desire to be in a relationship? 

This may sound crazy but there is a plethora of poor relationships happening and a sense of being comfortable that men and women alike don't want to give up. When did being in a relationship become about being comfortable and not about being happy? Is it not more realistic to believe that your other half should make you a better person; challenging you, loving you, and not always giving into your every waking desire? Why do some people feel the need to hang onto relationships that are easy, but offer them nothing but unhappiness? 

People sell themselves short because of the "what if's" society has been generating over the past decade. 

What if my partner cheats; they probably just needed to get it out of their system. NO. If your partner cheats on you it's because there is something missing in the relationship. 

What if I find out what they're missing in the relationship and try to change; then our relationship would be perfect. NO. Unless the problem is something like putting away dishes or picking up socks there isn't much that will be changed in the long run. What about you as a person is so bad that you could never find someone you're in fact compatible with. 

Compatibility; that seems a more necessary aspect in a relationship than comfortableness. 

Comfortable is what you should be with your best friend. How often do you find yourself fighting with your friends and possibly wanting to ring their necks, but still loving them in the end? Does that mean you should date them? Probably not! 

Not to say that the aspects of a friend relationship shouldn't exist between partners, but there needs to be more than just two best friends living under the same roof. 

It's time to reevaluate the aspect and realms of relationships.