Friday, February 17, 2012


Starting to feel as though no matter how much effort is put in the end result is always the same. Some people hold on to the past so emphatically they lose sight of what matters; the future. It's a sad day when the inability to turn away from someone who meant so much to you in the past could mean the loss of someone who means so much to you in the present. 

As much as ultimatums are not fancied when a balance can not be reached there is no other choice. The sentiment is that in order to have one relationship another must suffer, and while it is true one must be an adult and decide which of the two is worth suffering more. If you can not lie to the one you are with and you see you are hurting them, what is the point of holding on to someone you find yourself unable to be honest with? 

Some speak of trust as if it is something given in passing, when in fact it is something that is earned and it isn't nor should it be earned easily. The hardest part of being in love is the desire to want to commit ever part of your being to believing that because you do no wrong so must your other half, when the reality is that rationalizations are the only proof, but how then do you find a way to rationalize an emotion. Perhaps to some a person in this instance would seem crazy and to another it would be understandable, but is it not in fact crazy to want proof because of inept insecurities that present themselves at the most horrid of times. 

And what is with the fear that emanates from everything being positive one's life? You spend your whole life wanting to be in love with someone who just makes you smile and laugh uncontrollably for no reason at all, a person who can just rest their hand on your back and make you feel safe, and the minute you find someone who embodies these qualities you want to run to the hills, because of the lack of sense of worth. 

The reality is that reality sucks!